Well, now what do I do?

I'm conflicted.

I'm not sure what to do.

Or how to react.

David Ortiz, the beloved "Big Papi" of the Boston Red Sox, tested positive for steroids in 2003, according to the New York Times.

Papi's statement indicated surprise and a desire to find out what he's supposed to have tested positive for before he would comment further.

I hope it's false though in baseball's steroid era, I sadly lean toward accepting the NY Times report as correct.

If it is, it sucks big time, tarnishing two World Series titles and leaving me and millions of Red Sox fans confused. We roundly booed and loathed Barry Bonds, took great pleasure in chanting STEROIDS! and CHEATER! when Alex Rodriguez, and looked on with confusion and contempt as fans welcomed Manny "I need my female hormones" Ramirez was welcomed back to the Dodgers after serving his 50-game suspension for using banned substances. They cheated (in the case of the players) and ignored the cheating (the fans). How could anyone with a love and respect for the game support and encourage these guys?

But now it's Big Papi, not some guy I never liked or crowds on the other side of the country.

What the hell do I do?

Do I boo the next time I see him? Do I sit stoically? How do I react when the Fenway fans start to cheer him during the next homestand? Do I rationaize and say "this is different than the other situations somehow"?

If it's true, I'm disappointed and, I guess, not entirely surprised. But neither feeling helps me figure out what the hell I do now when I see Big Papi come up to bat.

All-Stars

Congratulations to Tim Wakefield of the Red Sox on being named to his first-ever MLB All-star Game. Wake is not only having a really solid year but has been the good soldier for the Red Sox since the mid-90s. Since then, he's done whatever has been asked of him -- start, close, middle relief -- and was instrumental in both of the Red Sox World Series championships.

While his knuckleball can sometimes desert him for no reason in the middle of an inning, by and large, he's been as reliable a starter as any the Red Sox have had in my memory, eating up inning and making opposing batters look like something out of a Bugs Bunny cartoon as they flail away at his sublimely slow and utterly unpredictable trademark pitch.

My only question about his appearance in the All-star Game -- who the hell is going to catch that butterfly pitch?

Never forget...baseball is a business

I grew up spending parts of my summers on Cape Cod and going to Cape Cod Baseball League baseball games. Played by college students using wooden bats, the non-profit CCBL has been a spawning ground for major league players (in 2008, 205 major leaguers in 2008 played on the Cape at some point) for decades, which is why I read with surprise that MLB is dropping the hammer on CCBL teams for trademark issues. Really? The Harwich Mariners have been around longer than the Seattle Mariners and you're going after them for not using an MLB-approved vendor for jerseys, hats, etc.? As a result, some teams like the Orleans Cardinals (my "home team" when I was on the Cape) are no more, electing to change their names to stick with local vendors and keep their costs low.

As a marketing guy, I understand the value of a brand and the need to protect a trademark but the now-former Orleans Cardinals had been around forever. Seriously, if there was going to be a challenge or weakening of the trademark, it would have happened already. It seems clear that what this is actually about is the dollars to be gained via the MLB licensing fee, its financial agreements with vendors who saw a slice of the pie that they didn't have, and all cloaked in the legalese of trademark protection while the threat of MLB withholding $100,000 in support is used to force compliance. Good for the renamed Orleans Firebirds as they updated their their red bird logo and switched to another name. While I'll probably always think of them as the Cardinals, fans on the Cape will enjoy the same great baseball and the Firebirds and local Cape vendors will enjoy a merchandising bonanza. Play ball!

This time it counts...but not that much

Note to self: The Major League Baseball All-Star Game is an exhibition even if the marketing slogan says otherwise. Even if it's used to determine home field advantage for the World Series, it is not, I repeat, not worth staying up until 1:45 AM for. It's going to be a long day today...